THE RAISE 

Respected Sirs/Madams

This is my humble request for a raise .  Listed below are the reasons I do believe that I deserve the raise : -

-I do physical labor.
-I work at great depths.
-I plunge head first into everything I do.
-I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
-I work in a damp environment.
-I don’t get paid overtime.
-I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
-I work in high temperatures.
-My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Yours Truly

P Niss

MANAGEMENT RESPONSE

Dear Mr. P Niss

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you
have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following
reasons:

-You do not work 8 hours straight.
-You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
-You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
-You do not stay in your designated area and are often found
       visiting other locations.
-You lack initiative — you need to be pressured and stimulated in
       order to start working.
-You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
-You don’t always observe necessary safety regulations, such as
       wearing the correct protective clothing.
-You will retire well before you are 65.
-You are unable to work double shifts.
-You sometimes leave your designated work before you have completed
       the assigned task.
-And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering,
and exiting, the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely,
The Management Go ahead and Digg it!!

 It's a Dick's Life